some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Randomize
