Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
