Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
