They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
