carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
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