Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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