i always forget guys have bellybuttons
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Randomize
