Sry I called you an 8
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Randomize
