Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
only if we run a train.
done.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Randomize
