found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
You may now shotgun with the bride
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize
