only if we run a train.
done.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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