worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
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