there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
We left an ass print on the piano.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
