her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Randomize
