1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
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