So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
The beer is more important than you right now.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
My penis needs a shock collar
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
