Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
NoShamevember. You game?
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
