oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
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