we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
