Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
