there's paper in my vomit.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
