No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Randomize
