Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Randomize
