so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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