you turned your livingroom into a bong?
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
