So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
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