But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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