Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Why did my mother make you get naked?
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