Umm I'm too high to move.
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
