So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
