2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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