I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
