Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Randomize
