Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
