The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
MIDGETS
????
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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