Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Randomize
