i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
