i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
