i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize