Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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