I didn't shave. On purpose
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Randomize
