The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
