i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Randomize
