what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
