All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
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