i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
