Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
