every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Randomize
