Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
