If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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