I think I died a long time ago.
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
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