so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
