Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
