she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
