I hate all girls vehemently.
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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