Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
