Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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