But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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