There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize
