Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
You are the jesus of drinking
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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