I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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