Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
He shit in the fireplace
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
